Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Do White Women Give Better Head Than Black Women??



Oral sex... a topic most love to experience, talk, and in some cases brag about. However, there are some people who swear they don't do it, won't try it, and feel nothing is missing from their sex lives whatsoever. Those poor souls... After hours of conversing with my male friends of various races, about giving head, I decided to write about this topic.

I spent days online reading blogs, responses, articles, even watching porn trying to get an accurate and fair answer to the the question. Do white women give better head than black women? It seems to me that the majority of information I have found on the world-wide web suggest that white women are freakier, give better head, and like sex more than black women. Now, I TOTALLY DISAGREE, being a black woman full of sexual energy, so don't shoot the messenger!!! However, I can't help but ponder why this stereotype, if indeed it is, is so widely believed. Is there any truth that might suggest white women are more freakier in bed? Or is this just another fun worthless comparison to give us something to talk about in our lives.

Although, I initially was never excited to perform oral sex when I began to explore new sexual things, I grew to enjoy it ALOT! I noticed, however, that my enjoyment really depended on my partners willingness and enjoyment of orally pleasing me as well. It was like a fun healthy competition in bed. In short, I was happy to perform oral sex, ecstatic even, when my partner felt the same way about me. Consequently, when I was with a lazy or selfish lover I didn't care too much about it.

In my personal opinion a women's bedroom performance Black, White, Asian... whatever the race depends on her open-ness and level of comfort with her partner. Sometimes women are more freakier with one guy than another because he gives her a sense of sexual freedom, chemistry, and comfort of allowing her to perform sexual pleasures with no limits in the bedroom. Personally, I think black women are just as if not more freakier than any race of people. The way we move our hips and other body parts, the passion of our rhythm in bed, our well defined lips... I mean c'mon! And if all that is irrelevant I think its safe to say Superhead showed us all that black women can do IT and do it good.

I guess my next subject should be black men vs. white men in the oral department mmmmh, just some thoughts.


Let me know what you think, love to hear you experiences? Do white women give better head than black women? Let's hear it, exercise that 1st Amendment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

LAZY SEX!



In the beginning he was like Superman in bed… I couldn't get enough of him and he definitely couldn't get enough of me. I orgasmed over and over again until we both collapsed, dripping sweat, breathing hard, excited, exhausted, thrilled, all the great combinations of a beautiful orgasm that made sex an uncontrollable temptation I couldn't resist. I was in lust, which felt like it could lead to love the way he was breaking down my walls; but after four months of great sex with Superman's assistant, I met his replacement, the lazy boss man that vowed to shoot for sideways quickies with no four let alone twelve play. He was definitely not the 'A' game guy I initially met. His lackadaisical ways became the norm in bed. As a result, our relationship suffered. Contrary to the politically correct theory that love is the only thing that matters in a relationship... SEX MATTERS. I'm sure a lot of people can relate.

Why do guys start off so strong and slowly the performance just decreases over time? Does the passion & excitement just decrease with time? It seemed no matter what I did, he never would perform like those first couple of times in the beginning. I was so bored with the sideways sex I preferred to just watch paint dry on the wall instead of faking the moans. So, I started doing some reading…

I found that a lot of women just simply do not know how to tell their man or sexual partner that they have become lazy in bed. Yes, that lovely word even I need to work on a bit more COMMUNICATION. Its a tough task to tell your partner that his performance in the bedroom has been lacking and could use a face lift. Men are tough on the outside, but when it comes to critiquing their bedroom game they become soft as marshmallows. In hindsight, I think that was the biggest reason I chose to keep a lot of opinions to myself. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. So, I went on & on accepting the 'Lazy dick,' as I've coined it, instead of saying "Can we talk about our intimacy?" I'm not advocating to initiate this conversation in bed right after the lazy sex, in fact, that's exactly what you shouldn't do. I would suggest bringing it up in a positive normal conversation between the two of you.

I expressed my lack of excitement sexually with this with a guy I was dating. Sometimes its solely just lazy performances on the male's behalf. At times men think 'they have you' and don't have to perform or impress you sexually anymore, until another man comes along and marinates his woman's… well you know what! However,ladies be prepared for a harsh rebuttal from your partner. Mine told me he was bored! My first reaction was to call him every name in the book and move on to the next, because it sounded like complete bullshit. However, the lack of hypocrisy in me would not allow it, so I hesitantly listened. Apart of me felt like he was just throwing stones back at me because his manhood was hurt that I confronted his bedroom performance, but another part of me wanted to listen because I cared about satisfying him.

He told me he would like it if I rode him more, he also expressed my lack of enthusiasm for oral sex, masturbation, along with a plethora of other x-rated wishes he felt would encourage him to perform better. We worked through it nonetheless and met at a common ground while agreeing to be more competitive with each other in bed. Although, it didn't happen overnight, adding a lot more spice and exploration to our sex life became a orgasmic change!

I would love to hear your opinions, explanations, experiences with lazy sex or dealing with it. I can imagine no one truly enjoys lazy sex… at not least all the time. And if you do, you may just find yourself becoming the masturbation king or queen because eventually your partner is going to become real bored.

By: Venessa Gopaul

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Learning your Clitoris


By: Venessa Gopaul

I remember the first time having sex. I was sixteen, inexperienced about my body and scared. I remember the condom, the way it hurt going inside, all the pumping, and in a matter of 10 minutes he was done and I was confused. I faked feeling good. It seemed like the right thing to do. I watched countless movies, television shows, and implied sex scenes, rarely was the woman ever silent. I thought the sounds women made during sex was some sort of tradition I could not break. Yet, truthfully I felt no pleasure. Sex in my mind was overrated, like so many other 'pleasures' in life. A taboo I could've avoided, a innocence I could have kept. I instantly regretted having sex with then, my boyfriend. I believe he tried his best to please me, but he was as ignorant as me when it came to knowing my body; and I definitely couldn't aid him because I knew absolutely nothing about myself sexually.

We dated for several months longer and the unfulfilling sex, of course, continued. I became accustomed to the notion that IF it made him feel good, then perhaps, one day it would make me feel good… well, that day never came! Growing older and experiencing other sexual partners, the cycle just repeated itself. Mediocre sex and not one sign of this bazaar occurrence called an orgasm in sight. All the stories of orgasms and great sex I heard from my girlfriends felt like exaggerated stories to entertain individuals like myself.

I began to hate sex, oral sex, phone sex, masturbation, any type of sex, because it seemed like a waste of my time and another failed number on the infamous vagina list… UNTIL one golden and great day I figured out the power of my clitoris!! OK, I won't take all the credit for that great discovery. The nice college guy I was dating at the time figured this mystery out. However, at that point I wasn't even into sex anymore. I knew it would be another disappointing experience, so he was very patient with me to say the least. Finally, after several months of patience, gifts, wining and dining I decided to hatch the egg.

I can recall the feeling of my first orgasm, it was amazing better than any feeling I'd ever felt in my life. A high one spends their entire life trying to reach again and again. Finally, I could relate to the stories my girlfriends had told me. I didn't orgasm off traditional sex, but brother man had a tongue that could start a tornado with no wind in the middle of the Sahara. The art of stimulation and penetration had never been simultaneously and successfully performed until that day and it indeed paid off. I didn't know what was happening when I came. After it was over I asked him to do it again. He laughed, not knowing he was the first to make me orgasm. Later on I begin experimenting with toys stimulating my clitoris, and trying different things sexually that pleased me. I knew how to please myself, so I could openly express to my partner how to please me as well. I had no idea that if stimulated correctly, how powerful that little clitoris could be.

All women are different however, some women orgasm during sex and need no clitoral stimulation, this is rare but is known. Some women need just clitoral stimulation with no penetration to orgasm, while some women need both. Learning your body, particularly how your clitoris responds to certain vibrations, textures, and pressures will aid you in your quest for the best orgasms possible. Who knows what your clitoris may enjoy until you've tried it. So I encourage women to learn themselves inside and out literally! If you have a partner learn together, it will be the most intriguing and rewarding lesson plan you've ever had, guaranteed! I hope it never takes another woman six years to have her first orgasm ever. So here's to the most marvelous orgasms to come ladies, bottoms up!