Learning your Clitoris

By: Venessa Gopaul

I remember the first time having sex. I was sixteen, inexperienced about my body and scared. I remember the condom, the way it hurt going inside, all the pumping, and in a matter of 10 minutes he was done and I was confused. I faked feeling good. It seemed like the right thing to do. I watched countless movies, television shows, and implied sex scenes, rarely was the woman ever silent. I thought the sounds women made during sex was some sort of tradition I could not break. Yet, truthfully I felt no pleasure. Sex in my mind was overrated, like so many other 'pleasures' in life. A taboo I could've avoided, a innocence I could have kept. I instantly regretted having sex with then, my boyfriend. I believe he tried his best to please me, but he was as ignorant as me when it came to knowing my body; and I definitely couldn't aid him because I knew absolutely nothing about myself sexually.

We dated for several months longer and the unfulfilling sex, of course, continued. I became accustomed to the notion that IF it made him feel good, then perhaps, one day it would make me feel good… well, that day never came! Growing older and experiencing other sexual partners, the cycle just repeated itself. Mediocre sex and not one sign of this bazaar occurrence called an orgasm in sight. All the stories of orgasms and great sex I heard from my girlfriends felt like exaggerated stories to entertain individuals like myself.

I began to hate sex, oral sex, phone sex, masturbation, any type of sex, because it seemed like a waste of my time and another failed number on the infamous vagina list… UNTIL one golden and great day I figured out the power of my clitoris!! OK, I won't take all the credit for that great discovery. The nice college guy I was dating at the time figured this mystery out. However, at that point I wasn't even into sex anymore. I knew it would be another disappointing experience, so he was very patient with me to say the least. Finally, after several months of patience, gifts, wining and dining I decided to hatch the egg.

I can recall the feeling of my first orgasm, it was amazing better than any feeling I'd ever felt in my life. A high one spends their entire life trying to reach again and again. Finally, I could relate to the stories my girlfriends had told me. I didn't orgasm off traditional sex, but brother man had a tongue that could start a tornado with no wind in the middle of the Sahara. The art of stimulation and penetration had never been simultaneously and successfully performed until that day and it indeed paid off. I didn't know what was happening when I came. After it was over I asked him to do it again. He laughed, not knowing he was the first to make me orgasm. Later on I begin experimenting with toys stimulating my clitoris, and trying different things sexually that pleased me. I knew how to please myself, so I could openly express to my partner how to please me as well. I had no idea that if stimulated correctly, how powerful that little clitoris could be.

All women are different however, some women orgasm during sex and need no clitoral stimulation, this is rare but is known. Some women need just clitoral stimulation with no penetration to orgasm, while some women need both. Learning your body, particularly how your clitoris responds to certain vibrations, textures, and pressures will aid you in your quest for the best orgasms possible. Who knows what your clitoris may enjoy until you've tried it. So I encourage women to learn themselves inside and out literally! If you have a partner learn together, it will be the most intriguing and rewarding lesson plan you've ever had, guaranteed! I hope it never takes another woman six years to have her first orgasm ever. So here's to the most marvelous orgasms to come ladies, bottoms up!