LAZY SEX!

In the beginning he was like Superman in bed… I couldn't get enough of him and he definitely couldn't get enough of me. I orgasmed over and over again until we both collapsed, dripping sweat, breathing hard, excited, exhausted, thrilled, all the great combinations of a beautiful orgasm that made sex an uncontrollable temptation I couldn't resist. I was in lust, which felt like it could lead to love the way he was breaking down my walls; but after four months of great sex with Superman's assistant, I met his replacement, the lazy boss man that vowed to shoot for sideways quickies with no four let alone twelve play. He was definitely not the 'A' game guy I initially met. His lackadaisical ways became the norm in bed. As a result, our relationship suffered. Contrary to the politically correct theory that love is the only thing that matters in a relationship... SEX MATTERS. I'm sure a lot of people can relate.

Why do guys start off so strong and slowly the performance just decreases over time? Does the passion & excitement just decrease with time? It seemed no matter what I did, he never would perform like those first couple of times in the beginning. I was so bored with the sideways sex I preferred to just watch paint dry on the wall instead of faking the moans. So, I started doing some reading…

I found that a lot of women just simply do not know how to tell their man or sexual partner that they have become lazy in bed. Yes, that lovely word even I need to work on a bit more COMMUNICATION. Its a tough task to tell your partner that his performance in the bedroom has been lacking and could use a face lift. Men are tough on the outside, but when it comes to critiquing their bedroom game they become soft as marshmallows. In hindsight, I think that was the biggest reason I chose to keep a lot of opinions to myself. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. So, I went on & on accepting the 'Lazy dick,' as I've coined it, instead of saying "Can we talk about our intimacy?" I'm not advocating to initiate this conversation in bed right after the lazy sex, in fact, that's exactly what you shouldn't do. I would suggest bringing it up in a positive normal conversation between the two of you.

I expressed my lack of excitement sexually with this with a guy I was dating. Sometimes its solely just lazy performances on the male's behalf. At times men think 'they have you' and don't have to perform or impress you sexually anymore, until another man comes along and marinates his woman's… well you know what! However,ladies be prepared for a harsh rebuttal from your partner. Mine told me he was bored! My first reaction was to call him every name in the book and move on to the next, because it sounded like complete bullshit. However, the lack of hypocrisy in me would not allow it, so I hesitantly listened. Apart of me felt like he was just throwing stones back at me because his manhood was hurt that I confronted his bedroom performance, but another part of me wanted to listen because I cared about satisfying him.

He told me he would like it if I rode him more, he also expressed my lack of enthusiasm for oral sex, masturbation, along with a plethora of other x-rated wishes he felt would encourage him to perform better. We worked through it nonetheless and met at a common ground while agreeing to be more competitive with each other in bed. Although, it didn't happen overnight, adding a lot more spice and exploration to our sex life became a orgasmic change!

I would love to hear your opinions, explanations, experiences with lazy sex or dealing with it. I can imagine no one truly enjoys lazy sex… at not least all the time. And if you do, you may just find yourself becoming the masturbation king or queen because eventually your partner is going to become real bored.

By: Venessa Gopaul